What’s a Party At Milan Fashion Week Without a Disco Ball?

Goldie Hawn, er Kate Hudson’s style is usually as one note as her acting.  She rocks the Cali casual thing (it’s not a look, it’s a state of being!) mixed with a touch of boho that encroaches on the Olsen twin’s territory as consistently as she scrunches her nose in lieu of actual talent in her movies.  Ah, nepotism.  Ain’t it grand?  Granted, we’ve never sat through one of her movies, but from the trailers of such cinematic greats as Bride Wars and You, Me and Dupree, unless everyone else cancels, she shouldn’t hope to snag a chair on Inside the Actor’s Studio anytime soon.

But we really find ourselves liking Kate’s sparkly ensemble at the Vogue Fashion Party at Milan Fashion Week.  Granted, the explosion of sequins is a lot of look but there is kind of an It-girl-smoking-in-the-bathroom-lighting-her-eyeliner-with-a-match vibe to it, no?  The top could do without the droopy bow (cause that’s just what you want centered between your boobs) and we can’t figure out if Kate’s wearing a nude colored belt or if that’s skin.  She seems wise enough to avoid doing anything Lindsay Lohan would consider cool in her latest famewhoring attempts to distract from a lack of any verifiable form of employment, so we’ll give her the benefit of the doubt.

We LOVE the gold Dolce & Gabbana skirt and matching cape (we admit, it appeals to our inner childhood desire to be Wonder Woman and it looks so twirly!) and her multi-toned metallic heels, like these from Steve Madden, are the perfect finish.  If only there was a way to get her gorgeous gams too.  But, you know, without working out or sweating or anything that requires moving off the sofa.

By ShoeMinx Fashionista Paige Muller

Hollywood’s Golden Girl is Picture Perfect at Paris “Plain Burning” Premiere

It feels like forever since we’ve seen Charlize Theron shutting it down on the red carpet, and we have say, we’ve missed her dearly.

The Monster’s Ball star stages a glorious return in a gold Lanvin dress with a big shoulder bow and lavish draping and makes it look like the easiest thing in the world to pull off.   She accessorizes her longer than a marathon legs in a pair of black Dior pumps that at first glance look like every other pair of black heels you’ve eyeballed at Bloomie’s.

But the deliciously wicked red spike heel give them a sexy aggression, like wearing a lacy push-up bra instead of the boring beige number you sport every Wednesday.  If it wasn’t for those little musts, like food and shelter, these shoes would be a five-digit PIN number away from finding their way into our closet.

Charlize’s Dior statement shoes combine two of the season’s biggest trends, contrasting colors and decorated heels, for a look that is feminine and classic, yet modern and cool.  Absent any swag parties or exclusive sample sales, get a similar look in these Cesare Paciotti heels or these chiconomic options from Shane & Shawn.

By ShoeMinx  Red Carpet Watcher Paige Muller

Somehow, We Just Can’t Imagine Her in a LBD and Pumps

All hail!  Tilda Swinton, Princess Avant-Garde of the Glargflong Galaxy returns from her home planet to bring greetings and well-wishes to the people of Earth while dressed in a psychedelically amusing little Rainbow Brite inspired number (Lacroix, darling!) that we TOTALLY love on her.  And that silver shoe, yum.  Plus, it looks like it can transmit signals back to the mother ship.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button star’s look is so wickedly wacky yet so authentically her and not HEY LOOK AT ME! that somehow it works and we can’t knock her for it.  Like Paula Abdul, she deserves her own fashion category: Only Tilda Swinton Is Allowed to Wear This and Get Away With It.  But shorter and pithier.  If someone else tried to pull this off, like say Aubrey “Fake Boobs” O’Day, we’d have so let her have it.  There would be so many trash bag jokes, Hefty would have cut us a check.  Yes, we’re biased and we’re fine with that.

By ShoeMinx Trekkie Paige Muller

Mini Moguls Prepare For World Domination, One Fashion Line At A Time

Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen are set to conquer the fashion world from head-to-toe.  Which, when you think of the Homeless Dumpster Diving Chic looks they pass off as fashion is pretty amusing.  Belted caftan! Fedora! Ginormous jacket! LAYERS UPON LAYERS of dollar-a-pound vintage!  We went along that twins played Michelle Tanner and Uncle Jesse was a talented rocker and not a hammie Elvis rip-off but we can only suspend so much belief.  Honestly, looking like you have to panhandle for spare change is more eek than eccentric, we don’t care what the fashion magazines say.  Anna Wintour and company think in these Serious Economic Times that a $500 cardigan is down-scale dressing so clearly their views are more than a bit wonky.

Their questionable sartorial styling aside, MK and Ashley have great taste in funky footwear.  The disconnect between what they put on their bodies and what they put on their feet is vexing.  We are truly vexed.  Known for their outrageous taste in shoes, from sky-high gladiator sandals to trendy peep-toe booties, the tiny titans are set to launch a footwear collection in collaboration with Steve Madden under the Elizabeth and James label.

Expected to retail from $195 to $500, the line is expected to debut this March, but Mary Kate offered a sneak peek during Fashion Week, modeling their take on an ankle booties, a black suede wedge heel with a deep side cut-out.  They’re totally cute with an unexpected twist that doesn’t tread into “did you forget to take your meds?” territory.  Perfect for those of us mere mortals who can’t quite manage the -rolled-out-of-bed-into-an-instant-state-of-awesomeness but can appreciate a fab shoe, like these Steve Madden ‘Bombb’ heels, to help fake it.

By ShoeMinx TV Land Fan Paige Muller

Stella “Leatha” From Project Runway Would Love This Look!

Former Will & Grace star Debra Messing recently pooh-poohed rumors that she had dropped stylist Rachel Zoe who has been accused of being too busy with her show, The Rachel Zoe Project, and losing focus when it comes to her first job (and the reason she even has a TV show), styling.

But she might want to consider making a switch after getting decked out in head-to-toe Bottega Veneta—the dress (which looks like a butcher’s apron, yikes!), the shoes, the clutch. How on earth did Rachel talk her into this get-up?

Here’s our imagined conversation:

RACHEL:  Debs, we need to do something radical to shake up your image.  Now that you’re not on Will & Grace and that other show of yours got canceled, people are going to start wondering why you just randomly show up to things like Phoebe Price.

DEBRA:  But I’ve won a Golden Globe!  Several in fact.  People love me! Remember that time on the show when Will and I . . .

RACHEL: That’s like a zillion seasons ago.  Anyway, I have a great idea: a leather dress!  I DIE.  Sure it’s like 80 degrees outside but you have to suffer for fashion.  If I can put up with Taylor, mostly because she scares the bejebbus out of me, you can wear something that looks like Bessie the Cow incarnate.

DEBRA:  I don’t know  . . .

RACHEL:  Come on!  You’ll be the next Sarah Jessica Parker.  Or Carrie Bradshaw.  Whichever. They’ve practically morphed into the same person anyway. The point is that little show she’s on totally doesn’t matter.  All people care about is what outfit Patricia Fields wrangles her into, so trust me, wear this and no one will ask what happened to your career.  Would I steer you wrong?  Get it, “steer?” Ha!

DEBRA: I just have this weird feeling that you’re using me as a walking billboard for season two of your show.  These gladiator sandals are super cute but didn’t you just recommend them as “Zoe Picks” on Piperlime?  And all this leather is a bit much.  Ugh, I look like an entrée at Ruth Chris steak house.

RACHEL:  Season?  Steak? GOD, I’m sooo hungry. I haven’t eaten solid food in 15 years.  You’d look great between two buns with some lettuce, ketchup and tomato . . .

DEBRA:  Rachel, why are you looking at me with that carbs-crazed look in your eye?  Hey, you BIT me!

ZOE:  Oh, sorry about that.  Look, here’s the deal. Anne Hathaway is my A-list celebrity now.  Hell-o Oscar nominee vs Golden Globes. You do the math.  I’m hording all the good stuff for her so it’s this leather dress and the shoes or nothing, m’k.  Be sure to tell everyone to watch the second of my show on Bravo at 10pm!  But don’t use any of my catchphrases or I’ll edit you out.

By ShoeMinx Couch Potato Paige “Just Jack” Muller